Shafqat Mahmood

The writer is a former Senator and a former federal and provincial minister

smahmood@lhr.comsats.net.pk

Lahore is maddening these days with traffic jams on every streetlight. It is the Eid rush we are told. There was a time when city people of rural origin - like me - would head back to their villages to spend the holidays with their extended family. Not anymore, not in Lahore, at least. It is the extended family that is flowing into the city to partake some of its 'glamour'. Glamour they may or may not find, but they will certainly spend a great deal of time negotiating traffic or inhaling a curious mixture of dust and fossil fuels.

This is a great change from the early days of Ramazan when everything had slowed down to a lazy crawl. That is, except for the half hour before iftar. Then it was mayhem. There would be no such thing as traffic rules or discipline or plain and simple courtesy. I have rarely seen such frenzy as on the faces of 'rozadars' rushing home to break their fast or on those determined to reach iftar parties before the call of the muezzin. If fasting is supposed to teach patience and forbearance, it certainly did not have the desired effect on some people.

Talking of iftar parties, it has almost become necessary for politicians of every stripe to host one. Great care is then taken to ensure that suitable photographs appear in the next day's papers. I must be an ex-politician because I did not host one and maybe I am green with envy. But, I often wonder what kind of mileage this particular exercise gives. It must be having some impact because our future leaders are not known for unnecessary largess.

This paragraph ensures that I will never be invited to another iftar but then there are only a few days left for Eid and its all right. I am also counting on the fact that by the time the next Ramazan rolls around, the good and the great of this land may have forgotten my idle chat. At least I hope they do. While on the subject of forgiveness, I also hope that my politician friends would ignore this little fun I am having at their expense. I do not want to be a persona non grata forever.

Not that I particularly look forward to this type of entertainment. I mean at iftar parties. For one there is much gorging done while breaking the fast. Even the most patient among us are driven to this because of hunger pangs that are quite overpowering. Each bite tastes better than the last one. While the pious adjourn for prayers, making some of us feel quite guilty, the dinner is served.

Although the stomach is full the eyes are not, to use a Punjabi expression. Much terror is then unleashed on the assorted delicacies provided so graciously by the host. By the time it is over everyone is full to the eyeballs. I wonder if it is possible to get drunk on food? Because if drunk means that the eyes cannot remain open and one has difficulty placing one foot across the other, then surely it can happen. At the end of the day one can only stagger home and collapse on something soft.

Yesterday, that is Wednesday night, I stirred enough after a heavy iftar to put on the BBC and what do I find. The one and only Lt General (r) Tanvir Naqvi in Tim Sebastian's grill room. Now Mr Sebastian is quite used to making mince meat of heavy weights in World Affairs. What a lesser mortal like General Naqvi was doing there was difficult to understand. I suppose it was his fifteen minutes of fame in the global sun.

This fame thing is such a terrible drug because had the great General not succumbed to it, he would have avoided Hard Talk like the plague. He did not and set himself up for a fearful roasting. Tim Sebastian ran rings around him reducing the General to pathetic monosyllables. There were also times when he was quite speechless. Now those who know General Naqvi would consider this nothing short of a miracle. He is the kind who can speak and speak. One thing he is never short of is words. Now they were as hard to come by as wickets on a dead surface.

One must commend his honesty though. When pushed into a corner he admitted that his government was a military dictatorship. He admitted that General Musharraf is a self appointed President for as long as he chooses. He also admitted that Army is going to remain in command even after the road map is complete and politicians inducted into office. Well done General but there is more.

He justified arbitrary decisions of the regime by saying that this is what the people want. This was like a half volley asking for a Sebastian cover drive for four. Sure enough his next question was, how do you know this is what the people want considering that General Musharraf is a self-appointed President and his government a dictatorship. Naqvi's reply was classic. He said we have been consulting the people and our consultation process was spread over months. We know therefore what the people want. So much for logic and his mastery of the democratic discourse. He would have done the Burmese Generals proud.

Normally one would have ignored General Naqvi holding forth on the finer points of democracy, Pakistani style, but strangely enough a part of me wanted him to do better. After all he was introduced as a senior advisor to the Pakistani President and it was in front of a global audience. Many people would form an impression of Pakistan from what he had to say. Unfortunately, my nationalistic feelings, and I am sure of many others watching the programme, were hostage to a man who was unable to put a better gloss on the events at home. This is the man in whose hands is the reconstruction of our state.

Enough about General Naqvi and his failure as a spokesman for the regime. Let us look forward to a happy Eid. This has been a trying Ramazan with the news of killings and butchery in Afghanistan. What is happening in Palestine is another sordid saga of global complicity in a selective genocide. There will be time to mourn all of that. For now a very happy Eid Mubarak to you all.